Came across this note from 2008.
Maybe there's a part of me that takes comfort in being able to say "I'm not successful because I haven't tried" as apposed to being unsuccessful because I'm not talented. Maybe that's why I have excuses for not seeking out commissions? Maybe I am actually scared of failing so I'm scared of trying? Scared of putting myself out there to be judged? I'm unmotivated and uninspired because of that fear. Therefore I need to conquer that fear to become motivated, inspired and ultimately successful.
I either need to try and fail, then see that it's not so bad. Or try and succeed and see that I shouldn't have been scared. Probably both. I need to embrace that I can either succeed or fail but either way I cannot go on hiding. I need to be brave, confident and thick-skinned. I need to rediscover my talent, my vision and my motivation. I need to see every excuse as just that. I need to remind myself that I know I'm scared, but I must try anyway. I need to remind myself that my skills require many more years of hard work and that I must seek to challenge myself and improve those skills.
